Tightrope Walking In Stilts

So, today I did something I haven’t done in a while. Sitting in my closet I saw a pair of new satin pumps I ordered from Ruelala 6 months ago and yet I had not broken them in yet. Yes folks, there were these beauties in my closet and while thinking I would save them for a special occasion, that moment never seem to make it.  OK, OK, who am I kidding…I actually sorta-kinda forgot about them, lol!  Just don’t tell my husband that.  But lovely they are.

Staring at them this morning I decided today, a random Friday with no special meaning at all, I would celebrate these sassy little hotties by taking them out for their first spin, which could easily turn this day from good to great very quickly.  After all, these cuties were wonderfully high and very feminine to say the least. 

The outfit I decided to accessorize my shoes with was so-so but the shoes in all their glory definitely made the ensemble so much better. I put on my new satin babies and left the house strutting around like it was nobody’s business. I got to the parking garage at work, stepped out of my car, walked 5 feet and was utterly exhausted. Oh my, I was not expecting that, I thought to myself. Shoot! On top of being tired after just a few feet, why was it I had hardly even moved? So, I walked a few more feet then tripped over my own foot almost falling down but coolly stood up poised and continued to walk a little bit more.  A few wobbles here, a few wobbles there and hurray, I walked another 5 feet. At this pace, I calculated that I would be arriving at my office in precisely 2 hours. “Seriously?” I thought to myself! This was just so much work and so inefficient if you asked me!

I realized the best way to describe this super cute satin high heel wearing situation was this: imagine walking in place on a tightrope in stilts while giving someone a piggy-back ride. That my friends, is what it feels like to walk in heels again.

FUN!!!

That’s honestly the best description I can come up with and here’s why.  You’re not really moving (or at least quickly), it requires complete balancing without falling over, and you can’t help but feel tons of pressure on your back causing you to lean forward just to get control over your feet and the ground underneath them. And this is supposed to make you look and feel good, I thought?!! FORRRGET ABOUT IT! What I realized was that when it comes to wearing heels after a long time, you don’t care how good you look because you’re too focused on just getting to where you need to be in under an hour without falling, nor developing a clinically diagnosed hunched back during the process.

And I used to this every day? WOW!

The longer I thought about it the more I realized it takes a lot of talent and skill as well as uber elegance to pull off such a stunt like wearing heels, and still looking classy. Yeah, I am NOT any of those things in heels anymore, and now I question if I ever really was.

Suspicious of today’s challenge this morning, I packed away some socks and low-heeled comfortable boots in my bag. Ohhhh, I’m such a smarty pants, haha! So that means no matter what, today’s premonition of having a good day because of my fancy shoes will NOT be ruined despite that possibility, had I not done my contingency planning.

Well, if nothing else I guess my feet will look pretty here as I sit at my desk, under the assumption that if I were to walk around I might look good, but that’s about as far as it’s going to get. It’s just an illusion.  Because sitting and not walking today sounds delightfully perfect for a Friday and definitely beats trying to walk in place on a tightrope in stilts while giving someone a piggy-back ride.

Happy Friday, everyone!

-Tanya Walks (yeah right)…

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