I think one of the hardest things we will ever experience in life is losing loved ones. It’s precisely this reason why I’ve chosen to forgo pets for as long as I have. Let me tell you why…
When I was born we already had a yellow lab named Goldie. I grew up with Goldie and loved her like nothing else. She let me pull her ears, cut her eyelashes, ride her like a horse and Goldie just always seemed to be there for me from the time I crawled to the time I went off to summer camp as a 12 year old. This dog meant a lot to me.
At age 4, I also got a kitten and named her Teeger. I was obsessed with this kitten but she ran away and I cried and cried. Shortly after, I got another kitten. I named her Teeger II. I was even more obsessed with this kitten and I remember needing to be around this cat as much as I could. I would do things like bring Teeger to school with me for show-n-tell. I had professional pictures taken with Teeger as a child. I color coordinated my stuffed animals in my room based on Teeger (Teeger was all white).
At age 6, a wiener dog roamed into our yard and after weeks of posting FOUND signs in our neighborhood we adopted the wiener dog and named her Precious. Precious and Goldie were instantly best friends and you can also imagine knowing their size differences how adorable and yet odd that was, but they were. LOL! They loved each other soooo much!
At age 12, I was coming back from summer camp after a week being away and as we approached my friend’s house where my mom was to pick me up, I saw my mom’s car. I jumped out of my friend’s car and said, Mom, where’s Goldie? My mom just looked at me with a blank face and I bursted out crying. She didn’t even have to say it. Goldie was close to 15 years old and I knew the end was near. Still, Goldie watched me grow; Goldie was my protector, my dog, my family and I was devastated, expected or not.
It wasn’t but a few months later that Precious, whose age we never knew, passed away one day while waiting for me as she always did, near the mailbox as I walked home from school. We actually believed after Goldie passed on, Precious never got over losing her best friend. She was sad and her personality changed a lot and it was hard for us to watch.
At age 13, Teeger died when I was in CA visiting my grandparents with my mom one summer. Turns out, Teeger was chased by a kid up a tree, and he shot her with a bee bee gun and Teeger fell out of a tree and died instantly. My dad called that evening and the first thing I said was, “is everything OK with Teeger, Dad?” He said yes but I could tell in his voice it was no. He asked to speak to my mom and my mom tried to act controlled but I knew right then Teeger was not OK. She broke the news to me and my poor Filipino grandparents looked at me (who had never had pets) and said “I hope you cry like this when we die!”
I mourned for 3 years over Teeger’s death. Anytime I would see white cat hair I would cry my brains out.
I also want to point out just how great my mom was with our pets obsession. She was not raised with pets at all and despised the idea of them. Still she graciously and selflessly allowed us to have them and she simply tried to keep her distance and bite her tongue a lot. I know she truly understood how happy they made all of us and at times I’d catch her petting the dog or holding the cat when no one was looking. My dad on the other hand was the pets lover in our house. He was (and is) so good with animals that he’s even helped train our friend’s dogs at times because he has an amazing amount of patience and skill with it all.
In college my dad decided it would be a great idea to get me a cat. I was so excited about it, too! On the way to get the cat, we ended up looking at puppies instead and walked away with a puppy yellow lab somehow, haha! That dog, Alex ended up being my dad’s soul mate, I swear, and I surrendered ownership of Alex as soon as I saw how happy he made my dad, as now there was an empty nest and my dad just needed something to take care of in place of us kids. Alex was a godsend not only to us but to many.
Thankfully we live in a neighborhood which was fine with things such as allowing your dog to roam around unleashed, etc. Well, there was a little girl who called for Alex every day while walking home from the bus stop and Alex would do his neighborhood dog duties and meet her then walk her home. No joke. My dad used to take Alex to rest homes to visit the elderly because he was so good with people and he put huge smiles on their faces when they would see him and pet him.
To this day there are more framed photos of Alex decorated throughout our house than of US KIDS. LOL! Sadly Alex passed away shortly after my Grandma died, and my dad actually said he felt Alex’s death was a bit harder just because it was more unexpected. Alex had quite a number of tumors and it was beyond the point of saving him when we found out so it happened pretty quickly.
I’ll never forget what Alex did right before he passed away. At our house we have woods on our property and Alex began going out to the woods daily. My dad soon realized what he was doing – he was going out to the woods to die. Dogs often do this when they know it’s time. They will go hide somewhere where they can go on peacefully. Well, my dad kept finding him there just sitting or lying down and my dad would carry him back to our house and try to nurse him back to good health. Finally, my dad realized it was much too selfish to let him live on and a vet was called out to our house and Alex was laid to sleep.
Tonight my dad called me to see how it was going with considering a puppy, since it’s taken me awhile to muster up the courage to go through the whole life process with a pet again since I’m one who gets incredibly attached to my pets. I told him that I was pretty set on the idea finally and he gave me some tips like to wait till Spring as training (i.e. potty training) a puppy in a little bit warmer weather will be much easier. He kept encouraging me to get a small to medium sized dog but I told him the only kind of dog I could honestly imagine owning was the kind I’ve been around my whole life: Labradors. He told me he didn’t blame me one bit and then got a bit excited that I seemed firm on carrying on our family Labrador tradition. I told him when it was time to go pick out a puppy he had to come with me and I said he should also think about picking out a puppy too. Then he said the words that broke my heart just a little bit more… he said…
Sadly, I think if I got a dog now, it would outlive me.
Knife to heart on repeat please. Argh that just kills me to think about that. I realize parents do age (he’s almost 70) and his heart is very weak but that has me torn up a bit tonight. I don’t even want to think about that possibility reality or not!
So my response to him immediately was…
No dad you’re wrong. It’ll only add more years.
And of course I hung up shortly afterwards completely shaken up and texted my mom what dad just said and mom replied saying he meant it’s just a lot of work and it’s harder when you get older. Of course I responded with, No, no that’s not what he said, Mom. He said the dog would outlive him. She responded with no, he just phrased it in a silly way… don’t worry.
The whole thought disturbs me so much. First of all I don’t want to think about anyone dying – pets, parents, nobody. I know its part of life’s process, I know, but parents, the people, the pets I was blessed with having in my life, I just never want to let go of. I hate the idea that I can’t have them forever here with me, right by my side always. Oh how sad I get over this…
And now I’m back to square one. To get a pet or to not get a pet. That is the question – should I go through it all? Is it worth it? It might be and in fact I realize it’s most likely one of those “it’s better to have loved than to not have loved at all” situations. I know it’s part of life and the happiness a family pet will bring will be greater than not having it at all but gosh… As for my dad, no more silly talk from him please. Sheesh. Not a fan of that talk whatsoever.
Live each day to the fullest my friends… and hug your parents and pets as often as you can.
Tanya.
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